Embracing Turning 60
I started wrestling with the idea of turning 60 in my mid-fifties. Even an optimist can’t deny that the body begins to change. At 50 I went into menopause, which I’ve got to tell you, was kind of a bitch. Then while in downward dog, we notice with shock wrinkles in our knees – our knees! What is happening? The little spider belly I have always had decides to morph into a small but noticeable tire around my belly, and just like that I am aging.
In my early fifties I cursed these changes and thought I would outsmart my body by working out like bananas or restricting carbs and sugar and fasting until noon. Later, although still grappling with the changes in my body, I decided to make peace with my new shape, because there didn’t seem to be a heck of a lot I could do about it.
As I accepted the changes in my body, I started to also acknowledge the amazing and beautiful parts of this time in life. My hikes up mountains which used to be more like a run, changed and involved a lot more noticing. Noticing the green of the moss on rocks I walked around and actually taking in the amazing views.
My mindset began to change. At first subtly and soon, profoundly. The insecurity I felt so often in my twenties – that frustrating inner voice that told me somehow I hadn’t achieved enough, or looked good enough, or that I wasn’t enough lessoned to a dull roar in my forties. By fifty, I went there far less often, sometimes going for months without a crisis of confidence. For those of you in your thirties,
I can’t tell you how liberating it is to move beyond that self-doubt. Without so much doubt, I regained energy, built optimism and had so much more room to love.
Throughout, I started caring far less about what other people thought of me, how they needed me to be, or what they expected of me. I started caring a lot more about being true to myself, to my own values, to honour my own dreams.
I stopped spending time with people who took my energy by gossiping or choosing to remain stuck. Without judgement, I wished them well and let them go so I could spend my energy on my family, the friends who wanted what I could offer, and myself. This is probably the greatest gift I gave myself this decade, the gift of spending my time and energy with intention and not feeling guilty if this meant taking time for myself.
As I pondered this 60th Birthday, I knew I didn’t want to grasp onto youthfulness, which is so tempting, because so much of the media we consume, tells us that anti-aging is possible. I want to own sixty, yes look good and be fit, but also own my laugh lines and knee wrinkles. I am embracing the powerful changes in perspective that this time in life can offer.
Life really can get better as we get older. As we wrestle with aging and our mortality, we may also come to truly appreciate that life goes quickly and we can find happiness as we grow, change and, yes, age.
Life is either a beautiful miracle or nothing. I choose the miracle.