Reflecting on Blue Monday

I resist the social media phenomenon that makes us choose a day to highlight sisterhood, motherhood, bullying, or mental health.  To me it feels like a reduction of these important life issues into a single day. People struggle with their mental health every day. I recognize though, that by choosing a day, we are invited to give voice to aspects of life we may not pay enough attention to.

Although Blue Monday may be a myth statistically, it is valuable to talk about mental health, share our experiences and bring awareness to strategies and resources that can help. 

But sometimes we can’t talk. I have been feeling blue lately, and the feeling can be extremely isolating. When people don’t understand mental health they may ask what I am feeling sad about, which is, quite frankly, is not helpful.  I already know my life is amazing.  I have an incredible husband, beautiful children and stepchildren, a dynamic career, and, I actually do love myself.  And yet, here I am struggling, with apparently no obvious reason. The lack of a reason to be sad, actually makes sadness worse, because it is accompanied by a feeling of not deserving the sadness.

Sometimes a person who is struggling may not be able to put into words how they are feeling but they still want someone to sit beside them, even if it just to say, “I am here for you.”  Talking does help, but sometimes a person can be so low, they may not have the energy to fully explain their feelings to a friend. When I am really low, it can take me some time to figure out what is going on inside me and to find the language to describe my experience  It can be a fine line between wanting to open up and not being quite ready. 

You don’t need to have felt depression to help someone who is experiencing depression. You do need to know how to listen, even when listening means simply sitting in a room with them.  Everyone needs to feel loved and seen.  Even if we can’t quite understand what a friend or family member is feeling, we can let them know we will listen with love and openness when they are ready to talk.